During this time period, jaguars were valued for their beautiful coats. Poachers flooded areas of the jungle where jaguars might live, but they were difficult to catch. One morning the three brothers went out to hunt some fine game. For some reason beyond their control, there was no game within their territory. The smart brother came to the conclusion that they should wander past the river and search for food. The three jaguars swam across the river and entered the unfamiliar jungle. After hours of prowling, the smart brother caught sense of an animal.
The three creep through the forest and come across a strange looking pile of brush. Inside this strange pile is a wounded bird. The smart jaguar's eyes glisten with happiness as they found something to eat. However, he begins to notice something strange about this pile. He looks a little deeper inside and notices that bars line the inside of the brush. The smart brother realizes this pile of brush is a trap for their fur. He turns around and shakes his head, "no." The second brother who uses his intellect some of the time walks up to the trap and glances inside. He almost steps inside the brush, but his intellect tells him not to. The second brother follows the smart jaguar as he walks away. However, the third brother approaches the trap. He immediately licks his lips and pounces on the wounded bird. A door falls, which closes the third brother inside.
The two smarter brothers continue to walk through the jungle in sadness as they lost their dear brother. However, each jaguar knew that this day would come for their less intellectual brother. Intellect is the key to survival.
Author's Note:
I based this adaption on the Tales of Bidpai story "The Three Fish." I enjoyed the story when I read it. I liked the message at the end of the original story that intellect means everything when it comes to survival. I thought it was interesting that the story seemed very basic, but had a fairly deep meaning. I changed the setting and animals from the original story.
The Tortoise and the Geese and Other Fables of Bidpai
"The Three Fish"
Maude Borrows Dutton (1908)
O how sad that the third brother got caught. I wonder why his two intellectual brothers didn't use their smarts to save him. I was hoping for a happy ending, but instead I got a lesson. This is good too and very much like fables sometimes do.
ReplyDeleteYou had me drawn into your story and I could not stop reading. I wanted to know what would happen to the jaguars as they stepped into unfamiliar territory. You did a good job.
Hello again, Matt! So I really enjoyed your story (even--or maybe especially--due to not reading the original), though the ending was kind of sad. As a biology major, I encounter the sentiment "survival of the 'fittest'" often, which definitely applies to this tale. Nevertheless, you have to love any story that values intelligence or character over strength, so I approve of your choice, haha. Great job!
ReplyDeleteI like that you changed the setting and the animals to something a little more human-like than a fish. I think that was a really good choice, and it gives you characters which are easy to give personality and life to. I also really love the message of this story. I'm someone who really places a lot of value on intellect, so this is a message that resonates with me.
ReplyDeleteA couple of tips on your writing: You kind of jumped back and forth between tenses throughout your story, which can be confusing, so make sure to choose a specific tense (past, present, etc) and stick with it throughout your whole story. Also you could try adding some more detail to your story and using really meaningful and descriptive verbs. This can help give your stories a little bit more life and prevent them from reading like a manuscript or sounding a little stiff.
Great job!
This is a great story matt. I definitely enjoyed reading about the three brothers and their search for food. You added some great details to the story. My only critique would be that it seemed like the story ended a little abruptly and there was no emotional draw when the story talked about the brothers walking away from the third brother.
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