One morning the King of Remora, King Sheftfield, sat atop the castle walls and listened to the songs of his top servant Peter. Every morning the King listened to Peter sing songs and tell tales of creatures within their land. Today the servant saw that the King was not interested in his singing like normal so he said: "Your majesty, we should take the largest windseeker in Remora and boat in the wonderful waters of Lake Winniepeak. We shall round up the prettiest girls in all the land and set sail by noon!"
The King was delighted by this suggestion and immediately sent for twenty of the prettiest girls in Remora. At noon twenty of the land's most beautiful, King Sheftfield, and Peter set sail on the wondrous waters of Lake Winniepeak. The windseeker was nearly one hundred feet long and thirty feet wide. Its sails seem to pierce the sky. The group sings songs and laughs as Buckerfish flip and glide out of the water. The girls row the King and his servant to all edges of Lake Winniepeak. A blonde with golden hair steers the windseeker from the back. Suddenly, an oar brushes the blonde girl's hair causing a red jewel to fall into the water. Immediately, she stops singing and steering. The rest of the girls stop rowing and the windseeker comes to an abrupt halt.
King Sheftfield: "Why have we stopped rowing? Let's continue to see the Cliffs of Manner!"
The girls exclaim: "The one who steers has lifted her oar from the water!"
King Sheftfield: "Why have you lifted your oar?"
"I have lost my red ruby," the blonde said. "It fell from my hair into the water and someone must get it! It is a blood ruby given to me by my grandma. The jewel was found within the Mountain of Tollison and dyed with the blood of a dragon. It means the world to me."
The King laughed boastfully, "I have millions and will give you another when we arrive back at the castle. I will give you five in fact!"
The blonde girl pleaded, "I would rather have my own because it means so much to me. I appreciate the offer, but that blood ruby is mine."
King Sheftfield glances at Peter and gives him a nod. Now Peter is not an ordinary servant. He was born into a family of sorcerers that live within a cave only accessible through the largest waterfall in Remora. The King adores Peter's magical powers. Peter steps to the edge of the windseeker and glances at the clear water. Peter whispers a spell and suddenly the water begins to part. Now the jewel is visible from the edge of the windseeker! The girls cheer as they can see the blood ruby from nearly four hundred feet above. Peter summons a Golden Nighthawk and flies to the bottom of Lake Winniepeak. He grabs the blood ruby and rides the Nighthawk back to the windseeker. He gives the King the blood ruby and the King gives it to the pretty blonde girl. The girls continue to row across the far edges of the lake until they returned to the giant castle.
Twenty years later, both King Sheftfield and Peter passed. The tale of King Sheftfield, the sorcerous servant Peter, and the blood ruby was told for centuries and offerings were placed at the base of their tombs.
Author's Note:
I based this story on the Ancient Egyptian story "The Green Jewel." The adaption follows the same premise, but I took the story to a more fantasy setting than an Egyptian setting. I enjoyed the content of the original story in that it was basic, but the ending pulls together the entire tale. It shows that the magical acts of the original scribe brought great respect to both him and the King at the time.
Egyptian Myth and Legend
"The Green Jewel"
Donald Mackenzie
1907
This is a good retelling of this story. I think it was a good idea to change the setting because it adds a different element to the story, and well most stories we have today are a retelling of another story in some way or another, so good job. You did a great job of changing the story without eliminating the elements of the original that make it unique and that is a talent that most don't have. Keep up the good work.
ReplyDeleteHey, Matt! I enjoyed your storytelling post – I like how you kept to the original story for the most part since it was already so fascinating, but how you chose to tweak the setting so something was different. The image you chose was also fitting although if I did have a suggestion, it would be to emphasize the new setting better. I didn’t realize the setting until the author’s note (that could also be the fact that it’s late at night when I’m reading this).
ReplyDeleteHi, what a great vivid story. I read that same story for my readings so I remembered it, but I really liked the way you gave the setting a more grandiose feeling. For some reason in my mind I was seeing a very "Lord of the Rings" setting. Don't know if that was intentional, but that is what I saw. I also liked the picture of the Windseeker!
ReplyDeleteHey Matt,
ReplyDeleteI really thought the descriptive words you used in this were fantastic. Especially at the beginning, you did a really good job setting the mood and stage for what was going to take place. I also liked that you used actual dialogue in the story because I think it really adds a lot to it as opposed to just "then so and so said this" etc.
Hey Matt, this was a really great story. You are a good writer. I like your choice of words and imagery. You did a good job of making me feel as if I could see everything first hand. Peter was a great servant. He was willing to serve his master so that he would be happy. He did not serve just because he had to. Overall, I enjoyed it.
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