Now this river was known as being one of the most beautiful rivers in the Appalachian Mountains. The river was clear and emerald green moss rose from the rocks. Blooming dogwoods and fallen trees hung over the river's path. The soothing sound of the rushing river could put any traveler to sleep. The temperature of the river was cold, but not too cold. It was perfectly refreshing.
The boys reached the picturesque river bend and saw the family of otters playing. The boys watched the otters for several moments until they decided to sneak up on them. They have tried a countless number of ways to catch these agile otters, but none have proven successful. This time they decided to sneak in from upstream and catch them from behind.
The two boys entered the river upstream and quietly swam towards the joyful otters. However, the smaller boy sneezed which brought attention to the otters. The animals dove underwater and didn't come up for several minutes. Puzzled at the fact, the boys swam to a nearby rock and stood on it glancing down at the river. Slowly, hundreds of water moccasin snakes rose from the depths of the river and swam towards the boys. The snakes horrified the boys to their core.
After seeing these snakes, the boys ran screaming to the nearby tribe. They entered the elder tent out of breath. One of the elders asked, "Why are you boys so scared? See a bear again?" The two boys told the horrific story to all the tribe elders. They appeared to be both amazed and confused. The elders promised the boys that they will walk to the river tomorrow and see what happened.
The next morning came and the elders walked the half a mile hike down to the river. To their amazement, now a thousand water moccasins swam in the river and were even coiled upon the rocks. The sound of hissing was so loud that the tranquil sound of the river could no longer be heard. This sight saddened the elders, as that this was once a beautiful river full of peace where children could play. Now it is inhabitable.
The next day the river's name was changed from "Moss River" to "Moccasin River."
Author's Note:
I wrote this story as an adaption of the Sioux story of The Boy and the Turtles. In the original story, a young boy goes hunting for turtles and sees plenty within a nearby lake. However, the turtles submerge under the water and young men arise from the lake. In the adaption, I had two boys travel to a river to try and catch otters for fun, but snakes arise from the depths of the river. I didn't want to go too far from the overall feel of the original story. The main point taken from the original is that the name of the lake changed due to only one fascinating incident. Well, in this adaptions case, the name of the river changed.
Myths and Legends of the Sioux
Marie McLaughlin (1916)
Matt,
ReplyDeleteWow! What a creepy story! Your description of the woods and the river is really spot-on; it was easy to visualize the scenes in which the action took place, and I enjoyed reading your story.
I also thought that the way you split up the paragraphs was really excellent. It made the post even more readable and logically divided.
Matt, I thought you did a great job on your storytelling. The spacing of the story made it easy to read and really helped the story flow. The picture that you chose was a great choice. It symbolized the story and helped me picture what was happening. The author’s note was very helpful in explaining the original story and why you chose your story. Very good job.
ReplyDeleteHi Matt, I really liked reading your story. You were definitely able to put your own unique twist to the story. That image you have in the story was perfectly used since that was the image I had already created in my head, it’s not the most pleasant of images. You also had a great way of chunking the story into smaller paragraphs to help it transition easily.
ReplyDeleteMatt,
ReplyDeleteYou story was so compelling! You are an excellent writer, and the way you describe the scenery makes it so easy to imagine I was there. I read similar stories this week, mostly telling about the history of where names came from, so I like what you did with this! Also, I don't like snakes much so when the hissing was so loud that you couldn't hear the river, I shuddered a little!
So, I've already commented on your introduction, so I thought I'd read another story of yours. This one was pretty cool and a little creepy. I liked that your Author's Note helped me gain a little better understanding of what was going on. Generally, context is good. Not a huge fan of the picture, but I guess that's more a personal preference. Snakes freak me out.
ReplyDelete